Embarrassed to be fat??

If I’m too embarrassed to go out and workout outdoors because I’m fat, bloated, or whatever then I’ll never go out. I’m a creature of Earth. I love my body. I cherish it, no matter what. Some days I may feel less than 100%. My body may be disrupted from stress, poor sleep, constipation, or other factors. I may look less than 100%.

But I’m a creature of Earth. I’m always beautiful. Going out and running is about loving Earth, not about putting on a display for others. Wearing skimpy clothes is about being connected with Earth, getting Sun, being natural. If I can’t be natural and close to Earth when I’m not feeling 100% how can I be when I’m 100%?

There will always be people who smear shit. There will always be petty people who lurch in the shadows, who creep around and then come out and try to smear it on you.

Just be true to yourself. It’s really sad for those lost people. But don’t let their sickness have anything to do with your greatness. Be great. Stand up and be strong.

Even when the little people are trying to smear shit on you Earth will whisper her secrets to you that you are beautiful and blessed. Just keep following her. Look at the butterflies and the birds around you.

This soup is a lifesaver

image links to product website

Even though I ran almost 5 miles yesterday, I didn’t have much of an appetite today. I had a bowl of steel cut oats for breakfast but wasn’t hungry for anything for lunch.

But I had this can of Amy’s Indian Golden Lentil soup in the kitchen and decided to heat it up and have it.

This soup is really excellent. I need to learn how to make soup like this. I guess the trick is they use split peas and red lentils, and mix in tomato puree. Even though the soup is named lentil soup the main ingredient is split peas. Split peas are very yummy!

I highly recommend keeping a can or two of this soup stocked in your kitchen for that time when you need a healthy boost.

Ocular migraine

Today I experienced what I think is my first ever clear-cut case of an ocular migraine. It is normal sometimes for there to be a little flicker in one’s vision. My understanding is that this has to do with the fact that the eye requires a large amount of oxygen, and hence blood flow, to function. Momentary disruptions to the blood supply can result in occasional flickers, lights, or strange artifacts in vision (at one point a long time ago I even wondered if maybe they were spirits or ghosts).

But today something different happened. I experienced what initially seemed to be a normal momentary flicker, but then it didn’t just go away right away. It persisted. What was also weird was the size and shape of it. Unlike normal flickers this had a distinct zigzag shape and it just remained in one part of the field of vision of my left eye.

artist’s depiction of ocular migraine that I found on the web

This zigzag shape just flickered constantly and it was really weird. I went into the hallway of my building, which has white walls, to take out recycling and as I was walking the length of the hallway I was able to really see the zigzag pattern and the flickering clearly.

I was worried that maybe I was experiencing retinal detachment, but after reading about it online, it turns out that it was only what is called an ocular migraine.

Among other things, the above article states that an ocular migraine can be triggered by perfumes or strong odors. All day yesterday there was this strong odor in my bathroom that was really irritating me and causing my nose to run. Last week something similar happened when I had used a sample packet of a hair masque treatment. The empty packet was still laying next to the bathtub and there was still some residue of product in it. It turned out that a fragrance in the masque was seriously irritating to me.

Yesterday I couldn’t find what was causing the odor. I thought that perhaps a tenant in another unit in my apartment building had dumped something down their drain which was causing the odor to come up through the pipes. I ran cold water in my bathtub for a long time but the odor was still there.

Then, later I was searching more and it turned out that a plastic bottle of a foot scrub which had been given to me by someone at a nail salon was the cause. The fragrance in the foot scrub – which was sitting in that bottle for over 5 years unused – was literally leeching out through the plastic!

I immediately dumped it out and aired out my apartment. But I’m guessing the exposure and the residual odor was enough to invoke the ocular migraine.

Today was the first morning in a long time that I did not wake up and immediately start coughing due to my nose running and mucous draining down the back of my throat.

It’s interesting that I’ve never had an ocular migraine before in my life, at least not that was clearly recognized by me as such.

I don’t eat a lot of soy. But I *do* eat soy.

Was having a convo with someone earlier and they recommended that I stop consuming soy.  We were discussing many things and it was only in passing that it was mentioned, so we didn’t get into it in any more detail.

But now I’m still thinking about it.  I just think: I don’t understand there being anything wrong with soy.  I love soy.  I’ve eaten and loved soy products for most of my life.  I love unsweetened organic soymilk.  I absolutely love tempeh as one of my all-time favorite foods.

That said, I’m not a big fan of tofu.  I can have a few pieces of it in miso soup or something, but I just don’t really like it that much.  Some time ago I would make this vegan pudding which called for using really soft tofu and it was really good.  The reason I stopped making it was because of the sugar, not the tofu.  Actually that type of tofu – the really soft, silky kind, seems a lot better than the really firm kind.  It tastes better.  It’s easier to digest.  I don’t really like the firm kind.  So I could see there being something about soy if it were regarding firm tofu, which is probably like the less digestible solids that come from soy.

But what you get in soymilk or the really soft tofu is different.  It tastes great.  I actually love that last bit of semi-solid stuff at the bottom of a soymilk container.  It’s like the cream.

Other than that, I also don’t really like edamame.  I do not like stuff like soy nut snacks.  And nothing I eat contains soy additives like soy protein isolate.

I would think that a baby would not consume soy milk because it is still feeding from mother’s milk.  Sligthly older I would like organic unsweetened soy in small amounts would be very healthy.

So yeah, I’m not sure what the big issue is with soy.  I may make tempeh a couple times per week and one package is enough for two meals.  I buy a half-gallon of unsweetened organic soymilk and it usually lasts at least a week.  I usually add it to porridge and once in a while I drink a small glass of it, maybe 150 ml.  In addition I’ve been enjoying flax milk and sometimes macadamia milk as a special treat.  I avoid almond milk because the almond industry – big, grubby, agribusiness – is fucked.  I don’t want to support them.  They also waste huge amounts of precious water and manage to bribe public officials so they can hog all the water.

I’ve never had any kind of reaction to soy and I know my body pretty well.  I know that a lot of the anti-soy stuff originally started as a black PR campaign by the dairy and or meat industries.  I guess many people don’t realize that there is a lot of black PR that occurs which targets healthy foods and diets.  Google News is a good tool to view the black PR if you’re into it (search for the news topics “vegan”, “vegetarian”, or “organic” to see a lot of the black PR.)  I’m not really interested in tracking it.  I know that there is a lot of demonic, satanic stuff going on and I just ignore it.  I think people should speak up about it but I guess not enough people care.  I’ve given up trying to combat the satanic shit that occurs even though I know it’s going on and that people are being deceived.

I’m sure they can pay “researchers” to inject rats with high amounts of soy products and induce cancer in them.  That’s how disgusting it is and it’s already well known how much lying occurs with research.

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