In my last post I wrote about my realization that the place I am living in – an apartment in a disgustingly grubby city which of fond of proclaiming how progressive, environmental, and green it is, how it is a “sanctuary”, is actually like a war zone.
Just like bombs exploding randomly throughout the day and night, there are extremely loud booms that occur, causing my walls, floor, and furniture to shake. Noises so loud they startle and shock the body severely. Noises so loud they traumatize me. Then there there are all the other physiological, psychological, and spiritual affronts on top of that.
Yes I wrote to city officials with my concern, the same officials who are often in the news making claims about environmentalism etc. They did not respond. They did not even acknowledge my communication. Its clear that nothing is going to happen anytime soon on the noise front.
I could spend a lot of money installing expensive, soundproof windows in an apartment which I only rent, but my walls would still shake. I think the only way to really cut the noise down would be to build a secondary wall which would cut off the outside-facing wall, including the windows, condemning the apartment to no sunlight – which probably would be a more accurate configuration of reality reflecting the true state of things.
Today I made the decision that I am going to get out of here. I have a place in mind.
One of the most important first steps is to believe in myself, and to not accept the lie – the lie that it has to be this way, that getting out is misguided, that there is nowhere else to go, that I’m somehow stuck here with no better options.
This is not the way it has to be at all. There are better places. There are better options. There are places to go. And I believe in myself and have confidence. I will be happy, I will be successful. My life will change.
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