The amazing new treatment for my hair

I have found a new treatment for my hair that is amazing. It is working better than any products I’ve used to date. To tell you what it is I will use the well-known mind-puzzle. Are you ready for it? Ok…

You are born with it. Poor people have a lot of it. If you eat it you will die. And its the best thing for my hair!

Get it?

Do I have to post the spoiler below??

But I will not. If you missed out on this well-known mind puzzle, sorry! LOL

But seriously, “it” *is* turning out to be the best thing for my hair. It is what I use for shampoo, for conditioner, and for styling. My hair has the best properties after using it: It has good lift. Much better than when products weight it down. Not having lift is a major problem for my hair as it really impacts the shape.

Second, and somewhat surprisingly, it has really good curl. Especially in the front where it tends to lose curl with too much product.

Third, the texture is excellent. It is natural. Its not sticky, goopy, slick, or tacky. Its just soft and natural.

This mystery “thing” is turning out to be the best thing for my hair.

I also was wondering about something recently. When I had my genetic test done it said that my percentage of Neanderthal DNA is slightly higher than normal. So now I’m wondering if my hair is part of that Neanderthal DNA? If so, I’m really happy because I’m guessing that the Neanderthals were nice people – although maybe not? Weren’t they intense hunters? Were any of them vegetarian? Did they eat mostly fish or…? (Fish-eating ancestors are cool).

I think some of the old bigotry from Homo sapiens towards Neanderthals might still exist today. I notice how frequently mistreated or subject to disdain I am because of my hair. Perhaps it is the Homo sapiens’ dissing of the poor Neanderthals being replayed over and over again?

I still don’t understand why my hair type is so rare. At one time it was very popular to the point that people even wore wigs to have their hair look like mine. There must be some kind of subtext about what all this means and what is going on.

But to the boring straight-haired bitches that give me nasty looks and judge me because of my hair: God made me this way. Fuck you.