Low income but high-quality entertainment

Can it be considered entertainment when you are the one creating the music? I think so. I think a player enjoys what they are playing as much as someone listening.

When I think about all the “events” that occur all the time, much of it seems like junk food to me and doesn’t appeal to me. I also have no budget at all for “entertainment”.

But what I like to do is play music that was composed 300 years ago and try to really get into the music. I may not be the most perfect player, but I imagine that even in the time the music was created there were players who were also not the most perfect. I don’t feel that that should stop me from playing.

I am working on different techniques for playing this music and it is fun. It is fun to try these techniques and see how playing different pieces is with each style. Sometimes it is very surprising. I try a style which is not taught by anyone that I know of, yet which I speculate was used a long time ago, and sometimes it seems to fit the music really well.

Some of the pieces are technically challenging and quite daunting. But my goal isn’t to play an entire piece perfectly. I have to take it one measure at a time. Sometimes I will pick out measures in the middle of a piece to work on.

On some days if feels like my brain and my fingers aren’t connecting. On other days I surprise myself and make it through complicated pieces. It is always an adventure, and it requires a lot of patience and continual love for and devotion towards this beautiful, I would even say sacred, music.

While all these “events” are going on out there I am here at home playing my music. This is just a small place but the universe I enter when I play is so vast.

Will I ever play for people? Years ago I lived in a small town and would hang out at this one cafe and sometimes play. Sometimes I miss that small town and I wonder what I’m doing in this big wasteland of a city with all its “events” but such a block of brahmanic cultivation.

Looking at the direction things are going, looking at what people occupy themselves with for “entertainment” and “events” now, I have no interest in playing for others, although I would not be averse to it in the right situation.